Computer Quotes and Sayings

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
Joseph Campbell

Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us.
Jean Rostand

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.
Anonymous

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Janet Reno

Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living.
Nicholas Negroponte

The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.
Edsger W. Dijkstra

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
Sam Ewing

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That’ll do them in.
Anonymous

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Mitch Ratcliffe

After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy.
John Pierce

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
Anonymous

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.
John F. Kennedy

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
Sydney J. Harris

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.
Anonymous

Computers, huh? I’ve heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes…. I don’t know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys.
(Television Show) King of Queens

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
Andy Rooney

Hardware: where the people in your company’s software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company’s hardware section will tell you the problem is.
Dave Barry

If there’s one thing that computers do well, it’s to make the same mistake uncountable times at inhuman speed.
Peter Coffee

The essence of the computer is not electronic. Computers can be made from toothpicks and bottle caps, or toilet paper and pebbles.
George Teschner

Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
Anonymous

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.
Dave Barry

Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes.
Dave Barry

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
Isaac Asimov

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier.
Bill Gates

Human happiness and human satisfaction must ultimately come from within oneself. It is wrong to expect some final satisfaction to come from money or from a computer.
Dalai Lama

How would a car function if it were designed like a computer? Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine, and the airbag system would say, “Are you sure?” before going off.
Katie Hafner

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
Anonymous

I just wish my mouth had a backspace key.
Anonymous

One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.
Jack Handy

Unless mankind redesigns itself by changing our DNA through altering our genetic makeup, computer-generated robots will take over our world.
Stephen Hawking